Happy?, Thanksgiving

In a year where I have had just about every possible high and low, I'm having mixed emotions about Thanksgiving.  I've struggled this year, and as much as I hate to admit defeat, sometimes I feel defeated.  If I've learned anything in the past twelve months it is that life is truly unpredictable, and just when you think you have it all figured out the shit hits the fan (pardon my poor language).  I've also learned that in order to stay sane you MUST find the good in every situation.

So, even though it has been the hardest year of my life, I'm thankful.

Even though my husband's business closed, I'm thankful that gave us the opportunity to move to Mobile.

Even though it took eleven months and three real estate agents, I'm thankful that our house in Birmingham sold.

Even though he was a stinky pest sometimes, I'm thankful that Jason had such a wonderful companion in Rupert.  He could not have had a better match for a dog.

Even though I feel lonely sometimes, I'm thankful for the dear friends (old and new) who have been there for me these past few months.

Even though I don't participate in our congregation as much as I should/wish I did/plan to, I'm thankful for a Rabbi who puts his own feelings and emotions on hold and stops everything to be by my side when I need him.

Even though our new work schedules don't allow for much time spent together, I'm thankful for a husband who is the best father I know.

Even though the "terrible two's" make an occasional appearance, I'm thankful for a well behaved toddler who is, 95% of the time, easy to parent.

Even though we lived out of boxes and suitcases for three months, I'm thankful for the time that we lived with my parents.  I'm thankful that Hannah saw her Papa every day, and that Jason spent evenings relaxing on the patio with my dad.

Even though I felt lost at my new job, I'm thankful that I got to sit next to my dad and watch him in his element.  He loved that store, too much sometimes, but I'm so thankful he knew that one of his children was going to be working in his business.

Even though it meant having to step foot into a hospital that I REALLY didn't want to go back to, I'm thankful for the incredible level of care I received at Mobile Infirmary.  Everyone, and I mean everyone, went out of their way to make me comfortable, which resulted in an easy delivery and, thank God, a healthy, beautiful baby girl.

Even though she'll never get to meet him, I'm thankful that Mae Michael will carry on the legacy of my dad by bearing his name.

Even though we don't get to see each other as often as we'd like, I'm thankful for a large extended family whose love and support we could not manage to survive without.

Even though they are far geographically, I'm thankful to have siblings who are so close.  You are my best friends.  You make me laugh (mostly at my own expense), you make me mad sometimes, but you GET me, and I don't have to be anyone but me with I'm with you.  Most importantly, you hold my hand and help me to stand strong when it could be so easy to just collapse.

Even though it seems like she keeps getting knocked down, I'm thankful to have a mom who stands back up every time.  I don't know what I would do without you.  You always know what to say and what to do, and although it is hard to admit, you are always right.  You are my sounding board, my shoulder to lean on, my shopping buddy, my date for events, my babysitter, the person I vent to, my biggest critic, and my biggest fan.  You are brave and smart, and I pray that I can be the kind of mother to my children that you have been to us.

And, even though I'm sleep deprived, scatterbrained, and sometimes feeling overwhelmed, I'm most thankful for these two:

You girls are the reason I get out of bed in the morning.  You are the light in this otherwise dark time.  I love watching you grow.  I can't believe you are mine, and I'm so thankful to be your momma.