Did you really just say that?

Somehow, when you are pregnant people think that you are open to advice and that you NEED to know what they have to say.  Random people say the strangest things to me, make inappropriate comments, and offer unsolicited advice.  I'm used to it by now, but I'd still like to avoid the awkwardness if at all possible.

So, here are the top five things, in no particular order, you should NOT say to a pregnant person (namely me!):

1.  "You know how you got that way, right?"  SERIOUSLY... do you think I don't know?  This ain't my first rodeo.  I'm pretty sure I know how IT works.  I'm also pretty sure that I know birth control doesn't work.

2.  "Are you sure you're not having twins?"  As if you know better than my doctor and the ultrasound tech, NO, I'm not having twins.  I'm just big.  Get over it.  How would you feel if I commented on the size of your belly?  Are you sure you're not pregnant?

3.  "Three kids?  Maybe it is time that you stay home from work."  How is this any of your business, and are you going to supplement our income if I do?  Not to mention, I acutally like working and I love that my kids are in daycare.  My girls are smart, polite, and very well socialized.  I'm not sure they would be that way if they stayed home with me and the dogs all day.  I have the ultimate respect for stay at home moms.  It is a major job, and an extremely difficult one at that.  I'm not up for the challenge.  I love every moment I have with my girls, but I also love that I'm not frazzled and pulling out my hair at the end of each day (not to say that you SAHM's are, but I definitely would be).  I need the adult interaction, time to myself, and the outlet to feel challenged and accomplished.

4a.  "Are you/your husband disappointed that you are having a third girl?"  Of course not.  How could we be disappointed?  Like I said before, we have two sweet, beautiful girls.  We know what to do with girls.  I'm sure we would be just as excited to have a boy, but we are thrilled to have another girl.  We really could care less as long as our children are healthy and happy.

4b.  This always follows the above question: "Are you going to keep trying for a boy?"  This one doesn't bother me as much.  I think it is just a natural question, but I still feel the need to bring it up.  To me, this is kind of like asking someone who doesn't have kids when they are going to.  It really isn't anyone's business.  Also, as if we have control over what sex our baby is... I might never have a boy, so are you going to keep asking me that when I'm on kid 4, 5, or 6?

5.  "You look like you are about to pop."  Similar to #2, this usually comes at the end of pregnancy.  How can anyone think this is an appropriate thing to say?  I don't comment on how big your belly is when you aren't pregnant.  And, I'm PREGNANT for goodness sakes... I have a 6 - 8 lb. baby with 10 lbs of fluid in my stomach.  Of course I look like I'm about to pop.  But you still don't need to tell me that!